Arrogance

Let me start this blog by making it clear that I’m not passing judgement on “them,” the majority of professional poker players who struggle with arrogance. In fact, I am a professional poker player myself and am well aware that I can often come across as arrogant and condescending.

I put in another session of high stakes poker at the Bellagio on Saturday, my longest yet at 10 hours. The game is scheduled at noon, but if you showed up at noon you would be out of luck as all the seats were filled about 10 minutes prior. I showed up just in time to get one of the last seats.

As I mentioned in my last blog, we play a 13-game mix with various betting forms from limit, to capped pot limit, and capped no limit. The one form of poker that is simply never played at the highest stakes is Badeucy and I applaud all the players in the game for keeping that format out of the mix. We do have a Badugi in the mix, but none of the split pot versions of the game.

I’m all for playing any mix of poker games, but some games just aren’t very good and I think Badeucy falls into that category for a number of reasons. For those unfamiliar with what Badeucy is, it’s a triple draw game played with structured betting where half the pot goes to the best 2-7 hand and the other half goes to the best Badugi hand. The best 2-7 hand is 2-3-4-5-7 and the best Badugi in this format would be 2-3-4-5 all different suits. So if you had 2c 3h 4s 5d 7d you would have “nut nut,” the best hand possible for both halves of the pot.

Some people really enjoy playing this game, but it is far slower than any of the other games as hands typically get to the river and people squeeze their cards for the “sweat” and there are three draws of that. The game also makes it quite difficult to find situations where you could bluff the whole pot since people will typically call on the river hoping to get half. You cannot “snow” in this game. A snow is when you stay pat with garbage pretending you have a made hand and then hope everyone misses. For example, lets say you were dealt 2-2-2-2-K in 2-7 triple draw. You could stay pat with that hand and play it aggressively knowing that no one could ever make a 7 since it requires having a 2 in your hand. Or in Badugi, you could have 2-3-4-5 all spades and decide to stay pat representing a made Badugi and hoping that none of your opponents make one.

I wrote a column many years ago talking about how pros need to adapt to new game formats rather than complain that it’s a stupid game. That’s still very true, but sometimes game formats are just stupid. For example, we could play the following game:

Texas Hold’em but you can only enter the pot if you have a spade in your hand which you’ll have to show at the end of the hand to win the pot. It’s still poker, but it means less players even have the option of entering the pot. We could add it to the mix, but it’s just a bit silly.

Another example would be to play Texas Hold’em but in order to bet or raise on the river you must have a straight or better. It’s a new game format players would have to adapt to, but it totally eliminates river bluffing. I don’t think that makes the game more fun or interesting at all.

I think the pros in the highest stakes game ultimately understood that a game like Badeucy in the mix would actually hurt their hourly earn. Less hands dealt, and less of a skill edge means that having the game in the mix would hurt the hourly of the winning players.

I’ve now logged 28 hours of cash poker in 2016 and while I started out with a couple wins, I’ve followed that up with a couple losses so I’m sitting at a +$17,200 profit. I’ve really been enjoying playing, but wish the games started a little bit later because my day schedule is usually booked with working on fitness goals.

I’d planned on sharing some interesting hands from my session on Saturday, but honestly, there really weren’t any. The capped format in the big bet games takes away some of the intricacies and I just didn’t find myself involved in too many tricky spots. I hope to play another session or two this week and will definitely share any interesting hands that come up.

So a new initiative called the Global Poker League looks set to launch with their initial draft in a couple weeks in Los Angeles. It’s a team format where players who are in the top 1000 of the Global Poker Rankings can take part if they choose to. In order to take part in this initiative, you would obviously have to sign some kind of legal contract.

I’m lucky enough to have one of the best poker business minds available to read any and all contracts that come across my desk. Brian Balsbaugh, of Poker Royalty, has been my agent and close confidant for over ten years now. I’m not well versed in legal jargon, but thankfully Brian is.

I read on Twitter that there may have been some controversy surrounding the contract being offered to players. Admittedly, I haven’t followed the threads in great detail, but I don’t really need to in order to share the following opinion.

The “fairness” of a contract issued to a player is in the eye of the beholder. What one player may see as unfair, others may have no issue with. A contract in itself, cannot be inherently unfair since it holds no power unless both parties agree to it. If you deem a contract unfair, there is nothing forcing you to sign it. You always reserve the right to find a compromise by negotiating the terms of a contract, sign the contract even though you feel like it’s not ideal, or, you can simply not enter into the agreement.

I haven’t read the contract personally. I saw a few excerpts from it that some players raised issue with. Correct me if I’m wrong, but it’s my understanding that players will be putting up no money, the company itself will be investing money into it, so outside of a players time, possible likeness rights, agreeing to various things involved with promoting the league, it’s a free roll. A free roll that you can choose to take part in if you agree to the terms of the contract. If not, that’s OK too. You simply choose not to sign the contract and would obviously not have an opportunity to take part in the free roll.

People have asked me if I think the GPL is going to work. The truth is, I have no idea. I hope that it succeeds, and I hope that those players who choose to take part in it thrive, while also bringing in a new audience of players and fans to the game. What I do know, is that millions of dollars are being spent on this high risk endeavor with no guarantees of success. It could be a huge win for the company, but it could also fall miserably. Most start up companies, and especially poker leagues, do not have a solid history in terms of success.

So if someone is going to take this on and really try to make it work, it only makes sense that they would have some requirements of those players that wanted to take part. A partnership where both the players and the GPL’s interests are aligned. The GPL hoping to create something big enough to show a profit, and the players who take part would also hope that it succeeds as they would benefit financially.

Now, depending who you are and where you are at in life, the contract just might not make sense for you. For an aspiring professional without any plans to market himself and create a brand from poker, there isn’t really any downside to selling your likeness rights. The value of those rights wouldn’t hold much value. The same might not be true for a higher profile player who does profit from his or her brand.

So for example, it may not make sense for Phil Hellmuth to sign a contract that said, “You may not endorse any other product or company for 10 years.” That may not make sense for him. Maybe he already has other lucrative things going on that he couldn’t pass up and signing the contract would cost him money.

When I started my career in poker I was simply a player. I grinded hard playing both cash games and tournaments. I used to post on poker forums as well, not with the intention of branding myself, but simply because I loved the game and I loved to talk poker. Later, CardPlayer magazine asked if I would write a column for them. At first I was hesitant because I didn’t feel like I was qualified at such a young age, but eventually I took on the “job” of writing a fresh column every two weeks for what I think was $150 a column. I clearly wasn’t doing it for the money.

As poker started to grow, so did my own personal brand. I used to answer my own fan mail and spend 3-4 hours a day personally responding to 50+ emails a day. A young Erik Saagstrom (Erik123 of online poker fame) e-mailed me at the age of 14 asking for advice on playing poker for a living. I wrote him a personal e-mail, as I did for anyone who sent me one, advising him that there is always time for poker so he should enjoy his youth! He ended up winning millions playing online and live poker when he was finally old enough.

I was often asked to do interviews. I never got paid for any of them. The World Poker Tour asked me to host a special edition called “Hollywood Home Game” which required me to do about three days of work on set. I did get paid for that, I think it was about $250! Again, I didn’t do it for the money. I did what I did to help promote the game of poker. To do my part in bringing new players into the game, and also opening myself up to whatever possibilities arose.

Back in 1999 I won the US Poker Championship in Atlantic City and it aired on ESPN. My first ever poker appearance on television. I happened to be wearing a Nike hat and a Nike tracksuit. After winning the tournament, this guy gave me his card telling me he might be able to get me an endorsement deal with Nike.

That deal never happened, but the idea that deals like this could exist in the future didn’t seem all that far fetched to me at the time. In order to get there, though, it would require some sacrifices. Time spent doing a lot of things that I wasn’t being paid for, or being paid much less than I would be making if I was grinding at the poker tables. I chose to do it, because I had a vision for where poker could go and how I could play a role in helping it get there. And yeah, I could also make a lot of money through endorsements!

Jason Somerville, has followed in those footsteps and has created a brand for himself with a new generation of players. He wasn’t all that much different than his peers in terms of skill or notoriety, but the reason Jason was able to achieve the success he has is because he had a bigger vision for himself, one that would require a lot of time and hard work.

He continues to work hard and is now reaping the benefits of that work, but it wasn’t always that way. When he started, he put in the hours creating free content for all to see, spending both time and money on resources, but without any revenue coming back his way. Some of you may look at what Jason or I did and said we were being taken advantage of. Putting in work and not being reimbursed sufficiently. I won’t argue that, but I think he would agree that we looked at it like you would an investment.

The landscape for poker sponsorship has dwindled significantly since the golden era in 2004 when online sites and other companies were throwing fist fulls of money at players just for wearing a logo. Currently, there aren’t a lot of opportunities out there for the new generation to create revenue through poker endorsements. I don’t blame those who see no value in exposure, doing interviews, or promoting the game of poker. I don’t begrudge those people one bit, and I don’t think they owe anything to poker. Poker is an individual game and there is nothing wrong with players doing what they think is in their own best interest.

Having said that, when a free roll is dropped in your lap with either no, or minimal risk, it seems like it might be worthwhile to give it a shot. Nothing could come of this GPL thing. It could end up being a waste of your time… or, if the investors are right, it could be an opportunity for you to make some money without having to have your set hold up against a flush draw going into the river.

(Disclaimer: I have no affiliation or contract with the league as an owner or a player, however, I have offered some time to helping out at the GPL Draft)

One of the goals I set was to get back into the high stakes mixed games at Bellagio. A modest goal of 200 hours with the intention of making $250k+ during that span. Last night was my first foray back at the tables and it didn’t end up happening at Bellagio. I got an invite (more on that later) to a big bet mixed game over at Aria. It was a unique mix of games, many of which I’d never played especially in the big bet format.

Yes, you are reading that correctly, the plaque says, “PLO Flips!” This is actually in the mix of games and is quite simply a game that requires zero skill. Everyone throws $10k into the pot and gets four cards. The dealer runs out a full board and the best hand takes the cake. It’s just the one hand, UNLESS someone in the game pays $1000 to do an additional flip. In this case, everyone but that player would have positive equity to take on this gamble. It’s pretty fun and overall I think it was good for the game.

The other plaque pictured is for “Very Crazy Pineapple” which plays like hold’em except you get three cards to start and have to throw one away after seeing the turn card. Also in the mix were:

Pot Limit 2-7 Razz
Pot Limit Double Draw 5 Card Draw High
Pot Limit Badugi
Pot Limit 2-7 Triple Draw
No Limit Hold’em
2-7 No Limit Single Draw
Pot Limit Omaha
Pot Limit Omaha H/L

The blind structure and antes for each game was different since some games play bigger than others. The base blind structure was $300-$600 blinds with $600 in antes in the middle in a 7 Handed game.

Having not played about half the games ever in my life, I really wasn’t sure how much to bring to the table for this game:

I brought half a million to the game, but chose to put the minimum buy in of $100,000 on the table.

I thoroughly enjoyed playing this unique format. I’ve played a lot of 2-7 triple draw, for example, but always with a limit structure. Early on I realized that I would need to make significant adjustments to my strategy playing the game pot limit. I enjoyed having to think about new things that I’ve never faced before.

Early on in a hand of no limit 2-7 single draw I was lucky enough to get dealt 23469 on the button and raised to $4000. The small blind made it $13,000, and I decided to re-raise to $30,000. He called and drew one. After his draw, he put me all in for about $60,000 which is all I had left on the table, I called and won the pot as he made a 9-7.

From there I was cruising and up a little over $300,000 after just a couple hours. As one player quit, another joined us and killed my mojo! He beat me every pot I played against him and put a big dent into my profits. Mostly by having the better hand, but also by playing his hands well and getting a little lucky to boot. One fun PLO hand against him I will share with you.

The button blind raised and I called from the small blind with Jc Th 7c 2h. The big blind called as well. The flop Came Qh 8c 5c and I checked. The big blind bet $5000, the button called, and I decided to peel really hoping to catch a 9. The turn was the Ace of hearts giving me an open ended straight draw (K or a 9 for the nuts straight) as well as another flush draw. I thought about betting here, and in hindsight I think it may have been a better play, but I decided to check. The big blind now bet $20,000, the button folded, and I called. The river brought the Jack of spades. A total brick to my hand but it looks like a card that easily could have helped me if I was holding either 9-10 or K-10. It seemed like a good card to bluff at, so I fired out $50,000.

My opponent thought briefly before raising to $130,000. Obviously I was dead so I threw away my hand. The big blind showed his hand, he had KKK3 with no flush draw! He used the valuable information he had in having three of the four kings to take a chance that A) I didn’t have the fourth King, and B) that I would be forced to fold if I had the 9-10. It was a genius bluff on his part, despite the fact that he had me beat anyway!

I played exactly 6 hours which I planned to do even before I sat down and ended up with a $134,100 profit on the night.

A few key thoughts I was left with:

-Changing up the mix of games is essential to poker’s future and growth. As games like no limit hold’em near closer to being solved, we need to always be innovative and think of new game formats that are both fun and interesting.

-There was NO TANKING in this game! The players were invited to play, and if you are one of those players who takes an inappropriate amount of time, you will not be invited to play. I asked a couple of the people in the game why they don’t play in the high stakes tournaments and they were crystal clear in their response, “The pace of play is too slow.” They weren’t talking only about the two most guilty players on that circuit today, Byron Kaverman and Christoph Vooselang, but the group as a whole.
Players who take too much time to make decisions on a habitual basis are destructive to the tournament. If everyone took as much time as those two, for example, these events simply wouldn’t happen. Nobody wants to play in a tournament where you are dealt less than 15 hands an hour. If everyone played as slow as those two, it would be impossible to play more than 15-20 hands an hour.

-the way in which games happen has changed from the days when I was a grinder. Back then, if there was a seat open and you had the buy in, you could sit down and play. Last night there were three high stakes games going at both Aria and Bellagio and each of them were essentially based on invite only. It isn’t legal to have “private games” in Las Vegas, but they have found a clever way around that. There is a set time that the games start and the players all show up at that time and fill the seats as well as the waiting list. If you are a “nit” or play excessively slow, you won’t ever get a seat in these games. I have absolutely no problem with the politics involved in this. I think it works out the way it’s supposed to. If amateurs don’t want pros in their games, they can shut them out by starting a full game with no seats available.

With it being Super Bowl weekend action in Vegas is heating up so I will likely play at least one or two more sessions and let you all know how it goes.

Every year I post an annual poker goal blog that preceded this one. These are career goals directly related to my poker career, but I have never really published a blog containing some of my other goals I set each year, typically in the areas of physical fitness and wellness. I have a template that I created on my own to outline the goals in detail, as well as why they are important to me. They vary each year, especially since my physical strength has been steadily increasing since I started working out more regularly a few years ago with a dedicated trainer. The template is super basic and looks like this:

The What (The Goal)
The Why (The Purpose)
The How (Plan)

“The What” is where you would fill in exactly what this goal you are setting is. So for example, “I want to be able to do 15 pull-ups by December 31st, 2016.” When you fill in your “what” it’s just as important to add the “by when.” With these yearly goals, that day is going to be the last day of the year, but when I create goals over a shorter time period then I find it really important to get clear on exactly when I want to accomplish this by. There is method/science to the madness of a “by when” that I won’t get into because this blog would end up being way too long, but let’s just say that getting clear on a “by when” helps create urgency.

“The Why” simply covers why this goal is important to you. How will achieving this goal satisfy you? What will it help create in your life that you don’t already have? How will accomplishing the goal improve the quality of your life? How will achieving this goal serve you in the bigger vision you have for your life?
So using the pull-ups example, the reason I would like to be able to do 20 pull-ups is because I feel like the strength in my shoulders is lacking in comparison to the rest of my body. I can do about twice as many chin-ups as I can pull-ups because the focus is more on biceps and back, while for a pull-up, you use more shoulder muscles. If I am able to accomplish the feat by the end of the year I know that it will mean that I’m both at a healthy body weight and that my shoulders have strengthened considerably. Having stronger, broader, shoulders, will also mean that I’ll look better in tight T-Shirts!
When I first started working out regularly a few years ago, I couldn’t do a single chin-up, let along a pull-up. I can probably do about 8 pull-ups today and maybe 15 chin-ups.

“The How” is the detailed plan that I have come up with in order to achieve this feat. It should contain exactly what I plan to do to achieve the goal, as well as a detailed timeline for when I plan to do whatever is on the list. For the pull-up goal, it would include- doing more pull-ups! Haha. Seems obvious, but yeah, I will be doing more pull-ups on a weekly basis than I am today. So for example, let’s say I set a goal within the goal, of doing 100 pull-ups per week.
One other way of making pull-ups easier is… weighing less! I’m currently about 167 lbs, but if I was 160 lbs it would mean less weight for me to lift. I don’t really have any interest in losing weight, but I am focused on losing body fat while increasing muscle. During my training sessions we haven’t focused much on cardio because the plan was to build muscle. There was virtually nothing to work with and I will show you the before pics to prove it!
There are two ways to address your body fat: diet and exercise. I have the diet part down. I eat pretty clean so it’s really not an issue. So the plan here is to finally add some cardio to the program, and the goal within the goal here is to do 100 hours of cardio in 2016, which works out to two hours a week in addition to the 4 hours a week I spend in the gym with my trainer working on muscle building.
If I were to make shorter goals, lets say a 3 month goal, I would also track bench marks weekly to make sure I stay on track and don’t fall too far behind. So lets say, for example, my goal was to run 150 miles over a 3 month period. Each week, that breaks down to about 10 miles a week. At week’s end, if I am off track and behind on the goal, I’ll know I need to add more running to the next week so that I can stay on track with the bigger goal. So for example, let’s say I only ran 5 miles during the week and was five behind. I would factor that in to either the next week and run 15 miles, or I could break it up different and do 12, 12, and 11 over the next three weeks.

So that’s essentially how I approach it and I find the journey to be the most rewarding part. Whether I achieve the goal completely, fall just short, or miss badly, the journey is where the value lies and I am not attached to the result. If I did it, I can celebrate the achievement. If I fell just short, I can take a look at what worked to get so close, and what didn’t work that had me miss it. Even if I missed badly, there is learning available- was this even a goal I really wanted to achieve? If I didn’t put in a great effort to achieve it, maybe it just didn’t mean as much to me as I thought it did.

So here is a list of a few goals I’ve set that I can share with you all:

Read 12 books: I always feel better about myself when I’m reading consistently, and this goal will serve me with another big project I have in the works for 2016 that is outside of the poker world. The plan is to knock out a book a month, and make sure that I’m ahead of schedule before the 2016 WSOP where there just ain’t no time for reading!

Beat People One-On-One in soccer: I play in two soccer leagues a week and I absolutely love it. Unfortunately, I was never gifted with the necessary footwork to take a guy on, beat him, and put one in the back of the net. Typically in these situations I look to pass, and there is nothing wrong with that, but if I was able to learn some moves I could probably score more goals, help the team more, and have more fun! The plan is to play consistently and also work with the Las Vegas Legends coach here in town. I’ve already learned a ton in the sessions we’ve had together, but let’s just say it’s easier for a 6 year old to improve their footwork quickly then a 41 year old poker player who wasn’t even a good soccer player as a kid!

20 Chin-Ups and 15 Pull-Ups: Already covered this one.

Watch 50 hours of poker: This is kind of a career goal and I could have added it to my other blog, but I chose to put it in here instead. I learn a lot about my opponents when I watch them play on TV. The way they play certain hands, and of course, any physical tells I may pick up from watching. The Super High Roller circuit is a small group of players so there is plenty of footage available. I’ve found the PokerStars app to be really useful.

Golf Handicap under 10.0: I haven’t golfed a single round since May 2016. During the WSOP I was doing lots of push-ups and I think that led to me getting tendinosis in my wrists. I got an MRI to confirm and then read up on it and it just recommended rest and it should be better within 6-8 months. It’s been 6 months now, and I’m ready to get back out there and get some fresh air! My handicap now is a 12.2 but if I played tomorrow I’d be closer to a 20. It won’t take long for me to achieve this goal. With the added strength I’m hitting the ball much further which makes shooting in the 70’s a much more realistic possibility.

25 Yoga Sessions: I’ve done yoga in the past and got into it, but didn’t do much at all in 2015. It’s really good for me to do, especially as I increase my physical activity. Often when I’m done playing a soccer game, while I was running full speed 20 minutes earlier, I can barely walk when I get home! I wouldn’t say I love doing yoga, but I know that adding flexibility will serve me in achieving several of my 2016 goals and beyond.

Donate “X” amount of money to Charitable Causes I’m Passionate About: I accomplish this one every year, it’s an easy one! There was a mild debate on Twitter recently about how we should give, and what is the most logical approach. Some said, what you’re emotional or passionate about should not influence your decision when giving, but I’m not of that camp. Giving is giving, of course, and while one person may feel like its crucial to give to our veterans, another may feel equally passionate about giving to sick kids. Is either of them wrong? I don’t think so. I firmly believe in giving from your heart and to what speaks to you, whatever that may be.

A few causes I am passionate about:
Animal Rights and Veganism
St. Jude’s
Habitat For Humanity
Local Schools
Reformation Project

What are your goals for 2016 and beyond? Why are they important to you? What is your plan to set yourself up for success so you can achieve them?

Before we move on to the goals we’ve set for 2016, let’s take a look back at how we did with our 2015 goals:

1. Cash for $2 million- This one came down to the wire as I closed the year with 4 straight cashes from my 11th place finish in the main event to my 3rd place finish for $640k to finish off the year and put me at $2,482,479

2. 55 tournament max- In 2013 I played 66 events, in 2014 I played 56 events and set the goal to play even less in 2015. I skipped WSOPE late in 2015 which allowed me to stay under my goal and I came in at 49 for the year.

3. 12 cashes- If I actually played 55 events rather than 49 I think I would have hit this goal, coming just shy with 11. The WSOP during the summer only produced 4 cashes and that’s definitely below what I expect to do each summer considering the high volume I put in during the WSOP.

4. 5 Final Tables- Just missed this one too, finishing with 4 final tables.

5. 3 WSOP Bracelets- I have been setting this lofty goal each year and while it’s obviously a major stretch, I know it is a goal I am capable of accomplishing. I ended the year missing out on a bracelet with my closest finish coming in the $10k Stud 8 event where I came a disappointing 3rd.

6. Move up on the WSOP All-Time Cash list from 5th to 3rd- Didn’t quite get enough cashes to pass Men Nguyen for 3rd place finishing with 83. Men has a total of 84 and I’m very confident that I will pass him this year and then set my sights on #2 on the list Erik Seidel who has 95. Phil Hellmuth is going to be out of reach for probably a decade or so since he is way ahead with 115. I do believe that I will catch my buddy Phil by the time they bury me in the ground.

7. Maintain 3rd on the WSOP all-time money list- I was able to do this, but Jonathan Duhamel put in a big effort to get within a million. To move up an additional spot I’ll need about $1.6 million to surpass Daniel Colman who trumped me in the One drop in 2014.

8. End 2015 in the Top 10 of the Global Poker Index- I didn’t put in enough volume especially in the second half of the year to contend for a top 10 spot, finishing a respectable #39 in a very competitive field. My goals of playing less events certainly were at odds with accomplishing this goal as there is no question that playing more volume equals a higher ranking in the GPI

9. Top 10 CP or BLUFF- The Story is the same year. A lack of volume and just 4 final tables isn’t going to get you in the top 10 of either of these lists.

10. Two Non Poker Vacations- You would think it would be easy to accomplish this goal, right? Well, I planned on attending Burning Man but backed out at the very last minute. I am not a drug user, and while I understand you could enjoy the experience without doing any hallucinogenic drugs, the more I heard about it, the more I realized I didn’t want to go. I love my life. I’m extremely happy and I felt a massive relief when I finally backed out of going. I get that lots of people absolutely love the experience, but I also know me, and I just don’t think it’s for me. Other than that, I’d hoped to make a trip to Romania and didn’t do that either.

So with that, I accomplished 3 of the 10 goals I set for the year, narrowly missing out on a couple that would have gotten me to 5. As you can see, I set lofty goals, and I do so for a reason. I am NOT ATTACHED to the result! This is really important to wrap your head around so that you don’t get into trouble when goal setting. I throw things out in the universe that I’d like to see happen. Whether I do or not has NO EFFECT on my psyche. If I accomplished just 1 of the 10, I don’t see failure, I celebrate the result I accomplished as well as the journey towards all of them.
Each year people mock me for setting a goal of winning 3 WSOP Bracelets. They tell me it’s not realistic. I’m not interested in realistic! That’s boring! 3 WSOP bracelets HAS been done by several people. I have won 2 in a year but never 3. Now, I wouldn’t bet even money that I accomplish this goal, but I know it’s attainable and I have the tools to make it happen.
When I set goals, I reach high, but not so high that it takes me off the hook. For example, I could set a goal of 10 WSOP bracelets in a single year. It’s theoretically possible, but when I set a target that’s in fantasy land, it doesn’t do me much good. A goal of 3 WSOP bracelets is a major stretch, but again, it has been done and I know that I can do it!
Poker players tend to be very analytic thinkers and have a difficult time with the idea of setting their intention on goals that aren’t within their control. Obviously, I could play perfectly during the WSOP and still not accomplish the goal of winning 3 bracelets. Some people may argue that they see no value in setting goals that are out of your control. I disagree vehemently, but the most important aspect in order to do this correctly is learning to be completely detached from the end result. Detaching yourself from the idea that coming up short of your lofty goals is a failure.

So what should you be attached to? The journey! Did you do your absolute best to achieve your goals? What worked? What didn’t work? What can you do differently next year to increase the chances that you achieve your goals? Acknowledge what you did well, and be honest with yourself about areas that you could improve upon. Then get committed to making the adjustments in areas that need improvement.

I’ve made two deductions from my 2016 goals and replaced them. The CardPlayer/Bluff Ranking just seems redundant at this point and the GPI has taken over as the “go to” ranking system. Also, I failed so miserably at taking any vacations this year that it’s out! Replacing those two with some exciting goals inspired by watching “KidPoker” and reminiscing about how fun it is to play in the biggest mixed games in the world in Bobby’s Room at Bellagio.

1. Cash for $2.5 million- I’m not entirely sure the $1 million One Drop event is even on the schedule this year, but either way, the price of poker tournaments has reached new heights so buyins could exceed $2 million in a single year quite easily. Setting a goal of $1.5 or $2 million aren’t guaranteed to show a profit, so I needed to up this from $2 million t $2.5 million. I won’t be attending Aussie Millions this year which offer some great opportunities, but there is going to be another High Roller Bowl with a $300k buy in prior to the WSOP this year that I will most certainly play.

2. 55 Tournament minimum- Oddly, I’ve decided to go from a max ceiling to a minimum floor to help ensure that it supports some of my other goals on this list. One of the ways I plan to attack this goal is to increase the number of events I play during the WSOP this summer. Normally I skip most all of the no limit hold’em events, but this year you will see me playing far more of the big field no limit hold’em events in addition to my already heavy mixed game schedule. Why? Well, I much prefer playing mixed games and those events tend to be smaller fields which should lead to more bracelets. Having said that, my edge in no limit hold’em is likely far bigger than it is in mixed game formats. I haven’t tested this theory out yet, but I am starting to think that my chances of winning a 150 player field mixed game event isn’t all that different than a 1500 player no limit hold’em field. Once I’m able to build a hefty stack in a no limit event, I think I’ll be able to get down to the end and give myself plenty of opportunities to win one of those massive field events.

3. 12 cashes- I only cashed 11 times last year, but only played 49 events. With an increased schedule in 2016 I think this should be a piece of cake and will likely target 15 cashes in 2017 once I achieve this goal on 2016.

4. 5 final tables- Doesn’t seem like a lot, but it’s quite difficult I think. Playing in short field high roller events certainly helps make this goal a reality.

5. 3 WSOP Bracelets- F*** the haters!!! This goal matters to me and would help me get back into the race for the all-time bracelet lead once I achieve it. When I win the third, I promise to write a blog that very evening entitled I TOLD YOU SO!!!

6. Move to 3rd on WSOP All-Time Cashes List- I’m sitting in 4th right now with 83 cashes, just one behind Men Nguyen’s 84. Men’s schedule has lightened each year and he doesn’t play in most of the bigger buy in events. I will achieve this goal and then work towards narrowing the gap on the top two horses who have 10+ years on me!

7. Move to 2nd on WSOP All-Time Money List- This is a tall order to say the least. Currently I sit about $1.6 million behind Daniel Colman for second on this list, and while I don”t foresee him playing a full schedule of events, I will need a massive score to get past him.

8. End 2016 in the top 10 of the GPI- I didn’t really set myself up for success by limiting the number of events I would play in 2015, but I will be rectifying that this year.

9. Play 200 hours of cash games- This is a new one! I used to really enjoy playing the high stakes mixed games at Bellagio and this goal is an effort to spark that once again. I used to do really well in those games and it’s a challenge for me to see how I stack up against some of the best mixed game players in the world today. There is some “young blood” that have now taken over as the mainstays in those games, so I’m very curious to see how I matchup. I imagine I will be at a disadvantage in the early stages of this goal since the players have so much more knowledge about how their opponents tendencies, but I’m confident that I will be able to succeed as I have in the past, mainly because of the mental stability I have now that I didn’t quite have nailed down when I used to play those games regularly. I’m so much more mentally tough, and I think that’s really important in those games.

10. Win $250,000 in Cash Games- So, I’ve set my hours at a modest 200 for the entire year. That amounts to about 16 hours a month. The stakes I’ll be playing should hopefully be no smaller than $1000-$2000 and would require an hourly rate of about half a big bet an hour. The games aren’t the same as they were when I used to play them regularly, but back then, my win rate always exceeded one big bet an hour.

Final Stats for 2015:
Events Played 49
Events Cashed 11
Cash Percentage 22.4
Average Buy In $30,880
Hourly Rate $3388
Buy Ins $1,513,125
Payouts $2,482,479
Profit $969,354

3 Year Total
Events 171
Cashes 37
Cash % 21.6
Buy Ins 5,908,934
Avg Buy In $34,555
Payouts $15,969,992
Profit 10,061,058
Hourly $6426.74
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I know many of you have been waiting for me to post a blog about the controversial changes to the VIP program. Before I share my thoughts on all of it, I’d like to start from the very beginning and explain how this all took place and then how it was messaged from there on out.

In October of 2014 PokerStars released a newsletter that said something to the effect of, “PokerStars is considering substantial changes to the VIP program in 2016.” I’m going to share some facts with you that have likely never been made public, but they are facts and can be backed up by several people. Prior to that newsletter, significant VIP changes were scheduled to take place January 1, 2015! These had been agreed to by the previous owners and management. The reason that didn’t happen was because of CEO David Baazov. Those inside the company were adamant that these changes needed to happen years ago and that it was imperative that they were made immediately. David was presented with plenty of internal data that showed quite clearly how the ecosystem was broken and that changes were inevitable considering both the escalated rate in which depositers were losing and the effect it had on the retention of these players.

Personally, I have said for many years changes were necessary. I said so during the previous management, and I knew that the current system was unsustainable long term and changes were inevitable. I think most people who had access to the internal data agreed unanimously that if no changes were made, the player pool would continue to shrink. I’m not going to spend time debating or explaining this, but what I do want share is why these changes were delayed a full year until January 1st, 2016: David Baazov.

It was David Baazov’s decision to delay the changes a full year, because he felt it was the right thing to do. He felt as though it hadn’t been communicated to players early enough, so despite understanding the necessity of the changes, he chose to give players an additional year of full benefits before making the cuts.

Fast forward to November of 2015. It was decided that the highest tier of the VIP program, SuperNova Elite, be cut from 63% rakeback down to 30%. The SNE players are obviously the highest volume customers that contribute a substantial amount of rake to the company. It was discussed internally, and PRM (Poker Room Managment) stood firm that SNE players should get a bump from 30% to 45% for 2016.

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I’ve spent the last month having internal discussions in the hopes of delaying the changes until January 1st, 2017. We also discussed several other possibilities and I did my absolute best to find the best compromise possible for the players.

The company has acknowledged that the communication of the changes was too vague, and we should have done a far better job being clear in the messaging. In the end, the result of my discussions with the company is that I can announce that PokerStars has agreed to put $4 million into the ecosystem in 2016 by holding quarterly $1 million free roll tournaments open to all players. Obviously the professional players will benefit most from these free rolls as they are most likely to cash, but it also offers the entire player base some value.

I realize many of you will be disappointed that we couldn’t delay the changes a full year. I’m also disappointed, but I promise you I did the absolute best I could to make sure the players voices were heard, and they were.

On that note, I want to take full responsibility for my role in the communications breakdown between PokerStars and the players. I didn’t write the messaging, but there was more I could have done to help avoid this that I failed to do. I had the opportunity to ask the right questions in October 2014 about when these changes would take effect, but I failed to do that. Had I been more involved at the time, I could have addressed this issue prior to January 1st, 2015 and make sure that the messaging to the players was crystal clear that cuts to the VIP program were going to be implemented in 2016. I could have also made sure that the website didn’t have any language referencing specifics as to what players should expect in 2016 if they reached SNE in 2015.

The fixes were quite simple, and I apologize for not being more up on this. I would have encouraged the messaging to be more clear, and for the website to have “to be determined” on the page that covers what benefits SNE players should expect rather than specific numbers.

What we knew as a company on January 1, 2015 is that there would be cuts to the VIP program in 2016. However, they were still collecting data and weren’t sure what exactly the changes would look like until the second half of 2015. It did say in the October 2014 newsletter that the details of the changes would be released in the second half of 2015. Despite that, I’m not at all OK with the way in which this information was relayed to the players.

I was also able to ensure that players would have the opportunity to meet with the higher ups from here on out to discuss important issues in regards to the relationship between the company and the players. That has always been something PokerStars has done effectively, and it will continue to happen. I spoke with Dani Stern and Isaac Haxton as well as many other top online pros about joining me and the upper management in regularly scheduled meetings. I think this is extremely important. Communication the last 12-18 months between the players and the company has not been good enough and I think this will go a long way towards improving it.

As far as my role with the company, what I’m committed to is making sure that nothing like this ever happens again. I’m extremely embarrassed by this communications blunder and I’m committed to making sure that from now on I am fully up to date and briefed on any and all new promotions and potential changes to any policies.

As for the future, while this rightfully upset many players and was handled poorly, I am genuinely excited about the future. I do think there will be more players on PokerStars in 2016 than there was in 2015. I do believe that PokerStars is still the best place to to play online poker and will be going forward. I still believe they offer the best promotions, and I believe some of what’s in store for 2016 and beyond will excite both professional and recreational players alike.

Just finished watching the latest WSOP main event episodes and reflecting on the last few months. I haven’t taken this long of a break from poker since the year 2000. Since the main event, I followed that up with a 6th place finish in the WSOP National Championship in July, and haven’t played since. I did play a couple WCOOPs, but the only live poker I played since July was Vanessa Selbst’s charity event in New York for the Urban Justice Center which ended up being a really good time.

When I used to talk about what my dream life might look like, some of the things I wanted in that life didn’t seem possible because of all the travel I do for poker tourneys. I always wanted to be on a routine, I’ve craved routine. I always wanted to play in a weekly league of something, anything, to be on a team. I always wanted to read more, watch more sports, play video games I enjoy, and stay current on world events.

Finally, I realized that I could just live that life NOW! All it took was me choosing it, so I did. I started playing in an indoor soccer league, three leagues actually- Mondays, Wednesdays, and an outdoor league on Thursdays.

In addition to that, I hired an ex-pro and the coach of the Las Vegas Legends indoor soccer team to work with me three days a week for an hour. It’s been really fun and I’m definitely getting better. I played soccer as a kid, but was never really good. The teams I play on, we play to win. It’s just a fun rec league, but most everyone actually cares about winning and I love being a team player. I’m not the best player on the team by any stretch, but I always give it my best effort which masks a lack of actual fundamental skill. Kind of like poker! haha!

Mondays, Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays I’m in the gym with Tiffany Boydston and usually my golf coach, caddie, and close friend Christian joins us. I like having him there for motivation. Kid is 5′ 6″ 135 lbs and he can bench press 235 lbs! It’s crazy.

Here is a short video ESPN did covering part of my daily routine:

Gym and Soccer

So I got the weekly routine down from a physical perspective, but I’ve also been on a gratifying mental stimulation routine. I read daily, non-fiction covering a wide range of topics. I play Hearthstone daily and I absolutely love it. I don’t let myself play for 10 hours straight anymore, but I really enjoy the game so much that I typically find an hour or two a day to play.

As far as keeping up with current events, I watch TV and also read about what’s going on in the world. I realize politics is a divisive issue, but I really enjoy following the drama and discussing it. In the past I couldn’t watch FOX News for more than 5 minutes without being annoyed, so I challenged myself to add it in and try to watch it with a blank slate so that I take in a more balanced diet of information. Not just from the left or right.

I still haven’t been able to watch MSNBC for more than 10 minutes ever. Despite the fact that my views lean left, I find the delivery on that network to be even more rude and condescending than on FOX News. I find both to absurdly bias, with CNN being the most balanced of the cable news networks. I actually laugh when an issue comes up and watch the reaction on both networks. It looks something like this:

MSNBC- “Hillary Clintion was a superstar in the Benghazi hearing and showed up presidential while Republicans tried to attack her on this witch hunt, but came away with no new information. It was a great week for Hillary.”

FOX News- “Breaking: new information from the Benghazi hearing of Hillary Clinton lying to the American people after she killed four Americans. This is the beginning of the end for the Clinton campaign as she will likely be indicted for those murders.”

You just have to laugh! I have friends that are Republican, and I have friends that vote for the Democrats. I always appreciate it when people are willing to hear the other side and not jump to personal attacks just because we have different views. OK, enough about politics as I’m sure some of you are fed up with all of it.

As far as watching sports, I watch hockey as much as possible, mostly the Pittsburgh Penguins since my buddy Phil Kessel got moved there, but I also keep my eye on what’s happening with the Leafs and the league as a whole. I’ve been in the same fantasy league since 1996 with mostly the same group of guys and it’s an absolute passion for me! It’s very competitive and I follow my 48 players closely. Yes, you heard that right… 48 players in a 20 team league! We all have a 20 player farm system incorporated into our keeper league so there really isn’t a 3rd line player in the NHL that isn’t drafted in our league.

I also rode the emotional roller coaster that was the Bluejays playoffs. Heartbreaking. A 162 game baseball season can become quite tedious, but playoff baseball is really intense. Not going to lie, I threw a shoe or two across the room in the dying moments of that game. Ugh.

I even started following the MLS! Just watching Toronto FC who finally made the playoffs for the first time ever this season. This Giovinco kid is so fun to watch. What a beast!

Notice I didn’t mention the NFL? I haven’t watched the Super Bowl in about five years. I used to watch the NFL religiously and was a die hard Buffalo Bills fan back in the Scott Norwood days. Ouch. I will occasionally watch the Bills play today, but otherwise, the organization disgusts me so much that I just feel dirty supporting it. It would take me an entire blog to explain the many reasons I find them to be a disgusting, hypocritical organization. I’m not hating on people who watch it, it’ a great game to watch, bet on, or do fantasy sports around, but I just can’t do it.

So, in a nutshell, I have been having FUN!!! Contrary to what you might think, I am massively introverted. I prefer being at home to going out, but that’s not to say that I have any issues being social. It’s just that if I have the choice between going to a club or being on the couch, playing Hearthstone, while there is hockey on the TV… I would pick the couch all day.

Poker will always be part of my life. I’ve been playing long enough now that I don’t get rusty from a lack of practice. If anything, not playing for long stretches makes me sharper when I do play. The year isn’t over for me as I will be playing an event in December, the WPT Five Diamond at Bellagio which I’ve had lots of success at coming first, third, and a couple other cashes.

2015 marks my lowest number of tourneys I’ve played since the year 2000 when I took a hiatus from everything but partying and spending money haha. My stats are still consistently good despite this year not amassing as much earnings as I did in 2013 and 2014 ($2 million and $7 million respectively).

Here is a look at my 2015 numbers so far not accounting for swaps:

Events: 47
Cashes: 8
Buyins: $1,392,325
Payouts: $1,818,832
Profit: $426,507

So in light of my last blog and the discussions on Twitter on the topic of racism, there were several posters who discussed what the modern definition of racism is. Paraphrasing, the collective theory is that, “Any time you base a decision about a person based solely on their race, that is racist regardless of the statement being positive or negative.” So saying something like, “Black people are better at basketball” would be considered a racist statement since by saying blacks are better at it, the underlying statement is that whites and others are not as good at it. So while complimentary to blacks, it could be seen as insulting to whites and others.

Someone posed the following hypothetical questions to me and I thought I would share them with you all. Suppose you have a gun to your head and are forced to make a choice on the following scenarios. If you don’t choose, you will be killed:

1. You are given the following information, there is an 18 year old black kid and an 18 year old white kid that will be playing one-on-one basketball. You don’t get any other information and you don’t get to see them. You must choose who you think will win. Who would you choose and why?

2. A black man from Kenya versus a white man from Philadelphia will be running a marathon, choose who you think will run it faster. Who would you choose and why?

3. A white man from Bulgaria versus a black man from Kenya, which man would be able to clean and jerk more weight. Who would you choose and why?

4. 16 year old Asian from New York versus a 16 year old black kid from New York are going to take a math test. Who would you choose to score higher and why?

5. A 24 year old man and a 24 year old woman will be playing heads up poker, who would you choose and why?

If you chose the black kid to beat the white kid at basketball, I am assuming you would, what are you basing it on? The only information you were given was the color of his skin. Nothing else. Yet, I would be surprised if anyone answered with the white kid. In fact, if you answered the white kid, I don’t even believe you.

Based on this modern definition of racism we would all be guilty of these stereotypes. Language matters, of course, and how you phrase a statement makes a difference. If you said, “Black people are better at basketball” it would be viewed as a racist and inaccurate statement. If instead you said, “Black people tend to do better at basketball” now you are simply making an observation based on evidence. Some of you may see that as semantics, but I do think it’s worthwhile to be careful when choosing how you phrase such statements. What I would take issue with, is the idea that as a culture we should refrain from making such statements.

Saying, “All black men from Kenya can run faster than all white men from Philly” would be totally inaccurate. However, saying, “On average, Kenyan men are faster than white men from Philly at running a marathon” you would be making an observation based on results.

The idea that you can’t use race to make observations without it being racist seems silly to me. Or maybe, such observations can be both racist and harmless? Are all racist statements derogatory? Assuming we define a racist statement as one in which your statement is based solely on race. Saying, “Blacks tend to dominate at the cornerback position in the NFL” would be factual, and also racist based on this modern definition. Does it matter if it’s backed up by facts and data to support the statement?

If you choose to label someone a racist based on this modern definition, then you should be made aware that you are guilty as well. We would all be.

When I sit at a poker table with a player I’ve never seen before, immediately I’m profiling them based on any and all information I can gather about the person. Ideas that I had about what something meant were never absolute, but the process tended to be correct more often than not. My profile of the player would evolve as I learned more about them and how they played, but as a base, my first impression of that person was going to dictate how I viewed their playing style or skill level.

Extreme examples would look like:

Young kid in a hoodie, sunglasses, and wearing headphones- my initial guess is that he is an aspiring pro who likely came from the online world. He is there because he thinks he is a favorite in the game and has studied it. He probably thinks I’m overrated and suck at poker.

Middle aged white guy wearing a suit and tie- probably not a professional poker player. Likely is a businessman who is going to be a losing player.

Elderly woman- she is there to enjoy herself and is probably a weak player.

Vietnamese guy playing 80-160 limit hold’em at Commerce- don’t underestimate him. He is probably really good and really tricky. A true hustler who tries hard and will fight for every pot.

Korean guy playing 80-160 limit hold’em- might be a steamer. Koreans tend to be really passionate people and if he gets stuck he might go on monster tilt and try to bluff at every pot.

Young Indian kid in a tournament- probably has a background in math, might even be a spelling bee champ or something.

Would it be fair to say that based on the modern definition of racism these statements would be sexist, racist, and ageist? Based on my 20+ years playing poker, they would also tend to be a lot more accurate and advantageous to me than receiving all new players as blank slates.

Systematic racism is a separate and real issue. Repressing someone based on race or limiting opportunities based on race is the worst kind of racism. if a white guy was good enough to play cornerback but wasn’t given the opportunity because the assumption was that it was a black players position, that would be absolutely wrong. Not allowing black players to play QB based on the theory that they aren’t smart enough to handle it, is highly offensive and blatantly racist. Not hiring a woman to be CEO of a company because it’s traditionally a mans role is just plain sexist and wrong.

Our brains are designed to stereotype and categorize events and people. That isn’t going to change. The focus should be on how racism has effected opportunity for minorities. We should avoid absolutes where absolutes don’t apply. Noticing tendencies and trends is one thing, but limiting opportunity based on race, gender, or age, is unjust and I think we should all be focusing on these impacting issues a lot more than we do on semantics and choices in grammar. Saying, “I don’t like Mexican food” is not the time or place to turn it into an issue of racism!

Over a decade ago I shot a video of me wearing a Jamaican dreadlocks cap, a jean jacket, and to top it all off, some brown makeup on my face. My wife at the time, who was Korean but raised in Michigan by a German family, applied the makeup and my mother who passed away 6 years ago now, made a cameo in the video. I also ended the video in my Scotty Nguyen outfit, mullet, gold chains, sunglasses, the whole deal.

Now, this just isn’t something I would do today, but when I made that video 10 years ago, I had no malicious intent to offend anyone. Obviously when the video was released some people were outraged. Not that it matters, but the outrage wasn’t coming from the black community really, the people that were upset by it were predominantly white. Since making that video, I have learned the history behind blackface and how it was used to demean a race of people. As I said, that wasn’t my intention at all, but after learning more about it I saw how doing that just isn’t a good idea.

The thing is, while that was the last time I did that, it wasn’t the first. When I was 13 years old most all of my friends were black. One night, one of my friends had a birthday party and there were probably about 60-75 people there. I knew maybe 15-20 of them and the rest were friends of his I didn’t know, as well as family. Of the 60-75 people at the party, there was literally one white person in attendance. Me. My friends thought it would be funny to help me “fit in” by putting brown makeup on my face. One of the girls had a makeup kit and she proceeded to cover my face with it while my friends laughed. They used to always ask me to chat reggae, so I chatted in patois while they laughed hysterically. I never felt that they were making fun of me, or mocking me, it just seemed like they were having fun with it. Of the group there, both people I knew and most of whom I didn’t, there wasn’t a single one that raised the issue that this might be inappropriate. This was close to 30 years ago and I doubt you would see this now, but back then when I did it there wasn’t a single word condemning it from anyone there.

When I was 15 years old, I decided to dress up as my idol for Halloween. My idol at the time was Bob Marley. Not only did I love his music, but I loved what he stood for. How instrumental he was in repairing apartheid and racial relations in South Africa. He was my hero, and my intention was to honor that by dressing up like him, again, with brown makeup on my face. I went to school like that, and once again, never heard a single word from anyone that my costume was inappropriate.

I share this with you to give you some background into not only how I was raised, but also to shed light on the fact that I wouldn’t ever intentionally demean a race of people. Recently the video resurfaced and someone asked if I was ashamed of what I had done. How could I be? When I did it, I had no idea it would be offensive. As I said previously, knowing what I know now I would not create that video today. If I saw someone make a video like that I would advise them against it and explain why. I wouldn’t leap to the assumption that the person was insensitive or racist. My first assumption would be that they were unaware of the history behind why this is inappropriate.

Labeling someone a racist is a pretty harsh and derogatory term. Personally I think people are often too quick on the trigger when using a term like that to describe a person. If a person says, or does something we may define as racist, that in itself doesn’t make the person a racist. When a football coach a few years ago said that he felt black players were better at playing cornerback, he did so by observing the fact that 100% of cornerbacks at the time were black. He made an assumption and developed a conclusion based on that assumption. While the comment he made could be classified as ignorant, or even racist, it doesn’t make the man saying it a racist.

I sent out a tweet about PC Culture and how I find it to be more harmful than good and it created a long back and forth on Twitter that morphed into a discussion about racism and what is acceptable and what isn’t. When I was young, we used to laugh and celebrate our differences while today it appears to me that the laughter and celebration has taken a backseat to anger and irresponsible judgment of a person’s character based on the way he phrased something. If someone used the term “Illegal Immigrant” to describe an immigrant who is in the country illegally, you don’t have to like the use of the term, but you would be making a grave mistake if you habitually jump to the conclusion that the person using the term is a racist.

Many of the posters kept bringing up White Privilege. I’m well aware of how doors were open to me simply because I’m white that weren’t necessarily available to others. I was born white. I’m not going to apologize for that. While I could never fully understand what it is like for others to make it in this world, during my childhood I was welcomed into a community that tried to help me understand. In my early teens, I don’t remember how old I was exactly, I was out bike riding with my friends. I went home around 9pm and they kept riding. The next day my friend showed up to school with a fat lip. My other friend had a black eye. When I asked them what happened, they didn’t want to talk about it. I asked again, “Dude, what happened to your face?” Finally he explained to me that after I had left a squad car pulled up beside them. Two cops got out of the car, trashed their bikes, and beat them up. When I asked, “Why? What did you guys do?” He kind of scoffed at me, maybe a little frustrated that I couldn’t ever truly understand, before saying, “We didn’t do nothing man. We were just riding.”

I wasn’t there, so I can’t say with certainty whether he was telling me the truth or not, but I have no reason to doubt what he told me. What really floored me was when he said that it’s not the first time it’s happened. I couldn’t relate. Nothing like that ever happened to me, but for my friends it was a regular occurrence. The only difference between me and them was the color of our skin.

So while I’m certainly aware that I would fall into the category of white privilege because of the color of my skin, dismissing everything a white person says because he can’t relate isn’t fair. What progress can be created without dialogue? How can we have productive dialogue if we don’t hear each other out? I think racism exists just as much today as it did when I was young. The biggest difference is that it happens more often behind closed doors. Many people are absolutely terrified to talk about race for fear of being labeled a racist. I’m obviously not one of those people. How can you educate people on their views if they won’t share them with you? How do you expect to create change if you aren’t willing to understand that you need to come from kindness and understanding when educating others on controversial topics like this?

I’ve met racists before. Unapologetic racists both black and white. I could spout hate by slinging insults there way, or I could try to understand how and why they see things the way they do? I could have a constructive discussion with them to maybe plant the seed, or open the door to them seeing things in a different light.

Many of our views are shaped in our childhood. I was taught by my parents to be generous, good hosts to all people. Race didn’t matter at all. Having said that, we often would use humor to celebrate our differences. My friends loved my dad, and they would come over all the time and chill with him. He would joke around with them. He would say, “Hey blacky, move your ass and bring me a beer and take one for yourself. Don’t be lazy!” My friend would reply with something like, “I’ll be right there honkey ass cracker.” Most of the funniest racist jokes I ever heard growing up came from my black friends. I won’t share them here because times have changed and those jokes would be highly inappropriate now. Part of me sees that as a shame, and the other part understands that times change and we must change with them.